AUTISM NEARLY KILLED ME!!!!

What I am about to disclose is highly personally; makes me look like a fool - but is so demonstrative of the life-long demands of high-functioning autism; even for those of us who live independently and are seen as 'together people'.    Firstly; let me tell you that I am educated, articulate enough to have spent a number of years as a fulltime radio announcer and talkback host on capital city mainstream commercial stations. I have also worked in medical research and in the medical field accepting these roles while studying for a B.Ed.(AWE) and later a M.Ed.(LM).  Even more astoundingly I have worked as a learning and development officer, and teacher, with people aged 14+ with autism and Asperger syndrome. I am currently studying postgraduate law. Anyway,  I have dealt with what I am about to tell you with my students and helped them to understand the impact and made suggestions-which were followed, as to what to do.  Commonsense suggests that what happened to me should not have happened; but it did!  It is a demonstration of the problems those of us with autistic or Aspgerer's thinking must deal with on a daily basis. It shows the challenges we have; even when we are very much aware of our way of thinking.  Remember; I knew and fully understood the consequences-it is the literal translation of what is said that caused the problems.
About three (3) years ago I acquired hay fever. It involved a lot of sneezing, coughing, and a very sore spot in my throat.  I regularly went to my primary care doctor; known as a GP or general practitioner in Australia. He gave me several different things to reduce and eventually stop the symptoms; none of which made one iota of difference. I had gone several times over  about a month and I suspect he was annoyed at me sitting in his office yet again.  I suspect he thought I was a bit of a hypochondriac.
Time went passed and the coughing did not abate. In fact; it became so bad that one place I was working as a contractor in a senior management role contacted my agency and said that I was not fit to be at work.  I went back to the GP with documentation proving I had been 'deemed unfit for work because of coughing'. He patronizingly told me that it was a way of saying they did not like my work. This is untrue as the lawyer in-charge of corporate affairs who told me to go away until I was better said I was welcome back in the role when I had solved my medical problem.
I left the GP's office with another prescription with his words of 'there is nothing more that can be done' ringing in my ears.  More time transpired and the drugs did not work. I began working part-time teaching 1st year university students in leadership and management. 
After class I was the last one in the building.  I was walking towards the lifts to leave and I started to cough.  This time it did not stop.  I could not breathe.  I struggled and gasped for breath-thankfully I made it into the lift and pressed the button knowing that if I could make it out of the list of the ground floor the cleaners or a passerby might see me through the glass doors if I collapsed. I just had to make it out of the lift and onto the carpet. I thought I was going to die!  My life literally did pass before my eyes.  Suddenly I gained control of my breathing-I do not know how or why.

Fortunately; some Indian students were straggling behind after been at another class and heard me desperately trying to breath; then demonstrating the kindly nature for which their culture is known, the students came looking for the source of the choking and found me. They insisted an ambulance be called as they considered I was having an asthma attack - later each student admitted they had never actually seen anyone having an asthma attack but clearly understood I could not breathe.
Carted off to hospital in the back of an ambulance the emergency room doctors were perplexed at my instance that my GP had said nothing more could be done. It transpired that my doctor could have done a lot more and should have tested my lung function. It was determined that I did not have asthma; but had some type of allergy reaction. I suspect that the GP was, as I said earlier, just sick of the sight of an Aspie whining about hay fever.
I went back to my GP for an explanation. He told me that even though he had said 'nothing more could be done' he did not mean it.  I did not go back for further treatment.  I have found a new GP; a private clinic with more than one doctor. When I think that one doctor is not doing his job properly, I just go back a few days later and see another doctor. It is ideal as all my medical tests and results and records are on hand with the one medical practice.
I actually experienced two (2) incidents where I started to black out from gasping for breath; except everything started to go red.  I am both annoyed and irritated with my own stupidity. I understand that it is the literal translation of what was said to me that was the problem - and I have encountered problems with that before. I suspect I might encounter problems with it in the future too. I now have a book where I write out details of medical problems. I look up the Net to see what tests should be conducted and what medicine should be given. Then, armed with a little knowledge (which I know can be a dangerous thing) I go to the GP. I make sure I am very, very clear before I leave as to what the plan is.
This blog is intended to demonstrate that living on the autism continuum is a life-long challenge. Please feel free to post your experiences on my Facebook.

I have been told that some blogs of mine have appeared in print in newsletters a couple of times now; without my prior knowledge of permission. So, yes in the spirit of community, you may repeat this story. Please ensure you reference this Blog, Tweet and Facebook AND provide me with an email AND email me a copy of what you have printed. You may NOT make any demeaning comments or comments of a similar nature about me or any of my experiences.

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AUTISM Bad Santa; Mum Who Does Not Really Understand Autism

The Brisbane, Queensland, Australia COURIER MAIL cover date 17 December 2011 page 9 reports on a vile individual hired by a local shopping centre as a Santa. The story relates how Mum Tammy took her two boys to see Santa for the first time.  Both boys; one has autism the other Asperger's, were keen to go.  The visit was to the Logan Hyperdome and turned out to be most distressing for Mum Tammy (she thinks her boys did not understand).  What happened was this - One of the boys was wearing a tee-shirt which said 'Think before you judge-I have autism'. 
1/.  One of the boys did a little dance in front of Santa to demonstrate how excited he was - Mum thought it was cute.
2/. Santa looked at the 6 years old tee-shirt and asked Mum 'has he had his medication yet"?
3/. Mum was shocked but as they were at the head of a line of lots of children the boys continued with their visit to speak with Santa. The boys started telling Santa what they wanted; but Santa spoke over top of them saying 'what about a jail cell'?
4/. Mum said 'excuse me', and one of the little fellas asked said innocently 'a jail cell'..
5/. Santa again asked the little fella if he wanted a 'jail cell'.
6/. Mum said she thought 'how dare he say that, he's not playing up, he's not been naughty'.
7/. Mum took it up with centre management - and I suspect some legal firm locally will come to the rescue with regards to discrimination against people with autism - I will leave the comments on that topic to legal practitioners who work specifically in that area.

What is important;
(a) Santa represents millions upon millions of people who do not understand what autism or Asperger's is.
(b) No one; be it Government or private organisations are doing anything to change the perception. Such a change of perception requires dedicated programmes placing people with autism or Asperger's in jobs and in visible places where they can contribute in the community.
(c) Why should a child (or adult) wear a tee-shirt that supposedly explains their normal behaviour. Remember; the way people with autism and or Asperger's behave is normal for their life. Labels do not help anyone.  It might make things a little easier for parents but what next; hanging a sign around a small child's neck who pinched something down the corner store 'I steal'. 
(d) Mum Tammy was mortified (and rightfully so); but she claimed that the children were not been naughty or playing up.  So what if they were - been naughty and playing up is a tag put on children with autism and or Asperger's. Understand that such a tag does not belong. We are not naughty or misbehaving in our world; we are expressing ourselves and trying to communicate.  Do not label us! You are ones who are different; teach the world to understand us.
(e) Mum Tammy and everyone else who thinks that we do not understand what is said to us and the cruel intent of what is said are very wrong. WE UNDERSTAND. I suspect her boys also related the world ‘jail’ with bad people and that Santa was telling them they were bad.  Most people with autism and or Asperger’s who understand in this way will generally ignore it – we get it all the time.
(f) If you want to look up the newspaper story and take action of your own with regards to this please do so.  The world begins to change with one lone voice speaking up.

LNP FOOLS NOT TO CHASE ANNA BLIGH ELECTORATE

The LNP appears to have no intentions whatsoever to spend money to try to dislodge Anna Bligh from her seat (well the seat she was elected to as a member of parliament-the actual member of parliament job is been done by a junior person a secretary without life experience or plain old fashioned business sagacity).  Bligh is not doing her job as the local member - and has not done so for a very long time.  People in the electorate voted for a 'local member of Parliament' - not some dame out doing everything but be the local member.  Ms Bligh has a number of very senior roles each of which is full time - leaving the electorate to the junior, inexperienced public servants is not what she was elected to do.  People in South Brisbane deserve a full time elected MP; not a secretary filling in - and frankly, based on the experience I have had with the desperate needs of a member of my family seeking her help not doing anything resembling even a half decent job.  Secretaries do not have the basic political sagacity to understand the ramifications of what they do; they are not suppose to as they are public servants working for the elected member - they are not suppose to be the elected member.  Get off your bottoms Can Do and Crew - what you Can Do if you try is to get Bligh out of Government - look back over the figures of the last elections each time she has lost voters.  Let people know that she is not the elected member and some young male secretary is doing her job - let the voters decide if they want a properly elected member of parliament or some lad having a good time feeling very important guarding his boss from the constituents on the basis that she is 'very busy'.  Anna Bligh is suppose to be 'very busy' looking after her electorate; not running a political party as well as been Premier - too much to do and too little work in the electorate. She is paid to work in the electorate.   Let the people decide.  SPEND THE MONEY LNP

Anna Bligh Fails Her Local Electorate

Anna Bligh has come out waving a sword and proudly proclaiming she has made change for good in the Queensland Health Department.  However; locally, Ms Bligh, the elected member for South Brisbane, rarely is in her office undertaking 'electorate work' for the people who voted her in or those who did not but need her intervention.  No; she is too busy with executive roles in the Labor Party and as the Premier to bother about the simple and not so simple folk. Ms Bligh gave the task of running the electorate to a very young man named Angus (a secretary; never elected to parliament-very pleasant, very zealous, but lacking the life experience and business sagacity to fulfill the role of local Member of Parliament). Angus, the real working member for the electorate of South Brisbane, is actual a fill-in; Ms Bligh's long time senior electorate secretary Tina Langford was seconded to some job in George Street.  Either way; neither Angus nor Tina was elected to run the electorate; people voting for Ms Bligh assumed that this job would be done by Ms Bligh - not a secretary.  Yes, many politicians rely on electorate secretaries to help run their offices; but not to this extent!  Ms Bligh is not available to see the 'little people' with what her staff think are little problems - she is, if you are lucky - available to see those with business or other problems when her intervention will bring a photo opportunity or a claim to have 'helped in the electorate'.  As well meaning as office staff are; they were never elected by voters to do the job of local member.  Anna Bligh has three (3) fulltime jobs and something had to give - that something was representation and association with the battlers in her electorate - instead she leaves that to the Gen Y office secretary.  This is not good enough for the constituents; or fair on the junior and inexperienced Angus. As previously stated Anna Bligh has three (3) full time jobs; the one she is not doing is representing her local electorate; time to resign Ms Bligh and stick with the role of president of the Labor Party.  You have done nothing in the electorate; plonking a huge hospital in the wrong place, dislodging other services to do it, failing to have sufficient services in the way of buses and roads, continuing to have a Police force locally that refuses to serve the whole community and restricts themselves to the better end of town, failing to provide locally sufficient dental services and hospital beds, failing to address desperate issues for local constituents - it is down to you Ms Bligh.  Time to go Anna-and fast!

Glutten Free Diet Autism Questionable

I could cry when I see the mis-information be accepted as scientific fact and parents spending a lot of money and emotional energy believing that a 'cure' for something that is not a disease exists.
Currently, the most fashionable method appears to be the 'glutten free diet'.  Expert 'glutten free diet' advice and, of course, obligatory nutritional supplements and powers etc are sold by people who have the cure. My grandmother would have called this twaddle. The one point that all of these diets miss is that there is no such thing as a glutten free diet; gliadin is the other component.  One gives the product you make the ability to stretch, the other softness (way back when the earth was cooling I studied and completed food science and nutrition). It is very difficult; very, very, very difficult for anyone to have a diet that is glutten free, it would have to be a grain free diet - (you might get away with rice and maize depending on what you were trying to achieve). However, many of the products you buy; including frozen vegetables and other foods stuffs have either glutten or gliadan added as an agent - e.g. those who each frozen chips should know that glutten is used in minor amounts to help the product stick together (that is the chips in the packet). This blog is not about glutten free diets; it is a warning to listen to the twaddle sprouted as the answer and the cure for everything from AIDS to bed wetting. The notion of the 'glutten free diet' is not new.  It has been around for over 60 years - all people are doing is dreging up old material and offering it as new. Parents, be very carefull of claims that a change in diet can cure autism. Autism is not a disease; autism is something that is here to stay.  Your child may improve as they get older; depends which end of the spectrum they are closest to - but it will not be from some magical diet, it will be from experience in dealing with life.

YOUTH - CHECKLISTED R U ABUSED BY PARENTS????

Signs of Teenagers Abused By Parents

1. You feel afraid of a parent or both parents?
2. You do not discuss certain topics or issues for fear of angering your parent or parents?  
3. You feel you cannot do anything right for your partner?
4. Your parents hit you?
5. You believe that you are the problem in the family and you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
6. You feel helpless and emotionally numb?
7. Do not know who to tell or what you would tell them; but know that your parent or parents are abusive towards you?
8. Do you fear your parent or parents’ unpredictable temper?
9. Your parent or parents tell you they will hurt you or kill you to make you do things?
10. Your parent or parents blame you for their lack of money, social standing and other problems of adults?
11. Your parents humiliate or yell at you?
12. Your parents criticize you and put you down
13. You do not want friends to visit you at home because of their behaviour towards you?
14. Your parents blame you for their behaviour ‘you made me hit you’?
15. Ignore your accomplishments?
16. Tell you that you are worthless and no one will want you?

STAY-AT-HOME HOUSEWIVES-COMPLAINING ABOUT $400

The notion of Government taxes going into the pockets of people who do not work and have no intentions of engaging in work has always been bemusing.  If you stay-at-home to look after a child; you make a specific lifestyle choice that you should fund.  Claiming that stay-at-home parents do valuable work and paying them tax payers dollars for it means that you also need to pay the disabled and the elderly for doing their own housework, single people for doing housework too-to cook a meal you need one stove, one pot, one shopping trip; someone doing these things for other people still has to do one single act, but add a large volume of shopping, cooking food etc.  All of the other tasks a 'stay-at-home parent' does, paid for out of workers dollars, are the same as aged pensioners who struggle around their homes do, the same jobs as the disabled fiddle about trying to do and the very same things that single wage earners (who pay the most tax) must do at home-besides fund mums who do not want to work.  Do these stay-at-home and pay us tax payers dollars thanks individuals actually think that their previous employment or the employment of their husbands/wives covers what they cost the national-it does not! Australia is already in debt up to its eyebrows because of this give-me, give-me give mentality.  Needless to say if you want to be paid to work in the business of any of the taxpayers dollars you use you will need to prove your worth; the ability to breed does not immediately bestow the ability to be a parent and to raise a child. In fact, raising a child requires a different skill set at different stages of the child's development. All that staying at home and not working does is teach children that living off taxpayers is a lifestyle choice. It is not!  If you think that in eras go by women stayed at home to look after the children; you could not be more wrong. Women looked after the children AND ran farmers, ran shops and even worked as labourers. Yes we know that conditions have improved in the Western World and people no longer give birth one day and get up a few hours latter to work - but understand in many parts of the world that women still do that.  Not to suggest we return to such harsh conditions, but the sooner the so-called baby bonus is abolished along with the other 'special payments' families receive the better - this country can no longer afford it. Additionally, there is no reason why single taxpayers should fund families; these young people can no longer afford to buy a house or in some instances pay their light bills or have health insurance or even food. The solution is simple families - do not have children you cannot afford.  Love and the desire to breed is not enough.

We Do NOT R E C O V E R From Autism

I read a profile of a woman on Tweet who is trying to get her child to the 'recovery' stage of autism.  If you, your child, or someone you know has autism or Asperger's understand one very important point. We do NOT recovery from autism because we do not have a disease. Autism and Asperger's is a way of being; a way you might not like or understand-but it is an essential humaniness that goes beyond the understanding of many neurotypical people. Indeed, many such individuals have created an industry to try to tell parents that their child will 'recover'-your child will not!  You, if you have autism or are an aspie person, will not recover- do you really want to?  Honestly, if you were able to go and full and wholly be in the world of a neurotypical would you want to stay there?  People must learn that those who do not have autism or Asperger's are gifted in ways you will never understand; it is a privilege to have this form of thinking, of perceiving or cognition.  It is the rest of the world who must learn to understand us-more and more people will appear with autism and or Asperger's.  I believe there are very clear and specific reasons for this none of which have anything to do with diet, vaccinations or similar. Money should be spent on teaching the rest of the world to understand and live with our growing population-we are not going to go away. IGNORANCE IS THE GREATEST DISABILITY; A DISABILITY IS REALLY A DIFFERENT ABILITY!

NET BEATING JUDGE in TEXAS SUSPENDED

This blog might be a little bit late; but THANK YOU TEXAS-finally your State has shown some common sense.  For those people who have been under a rock for the last several weeks; this 'big man' and his 'dear wife' flogged into their then 15 year old phyiscally disabled daughter with large leather straps (and we do mean flogged) because she downloaded pirate music.  Yes, it was stealing; but the flogging she got was nothing more than common criminal assualt. Fortunately, the daughter had the presence of mind to have a camera setup in her room and daddy and mommy dearest were caught belting the daylights out of her. If you missed it check You Tube or through my other blogs for the link.  Initially the State of Texas representatives were allegedly claiming that the parents had the right to discipline their child; the rest of the world was saying not like that they don't. Now, the texas Supreme Court has suspended the Judge for this act (which happened in 1994) with pay. His name is William Adams and he carries the title of Aransas County Judge; frightenly some media reports alleged that William Adams was a judge in family court matters.  There was some suggestion by the media that his behaviour on the tape may call into question decisions he has made in some court matters-but that is for Texas (or which ever organisation does that in the USA) to determine.  Over 6 million people have viewed the video of this individual and his wife flogging their child. Apparently, the Texas State Commission on Judical Conduct heard the public outcry over the judge's behaviour captured on video, viewed the video and decided to investigate.  Remember; your voice counts, never think it does not.

R U The Smartest Person In The Room; No One Gets It?

If you often feel that you are the smartest person in the room; but no one gets you.  If you know (based on fact please, not just your personal opinion or self recommendation) that you are right. If you 'correct' people, they do not listen, and you turn out to be right; never say 'I told you so'!  You possibly have an high functioning form of autism. Do not diagnose this yourself; but seek a medical doctor to do so - notice I did not say therapist or psychologist!  Often, older people, and that is anyone over 25 years have this 'so-called' disability to contend with.  It is isolating, furstrating, lonely and almost (unless you were diagnosed as a child and had considerable interevention) may consign you to a life of poverty caused by job hopping. Relationships will be a constant battle of complaints by your partner that you are too critical and always correcting them - that is if you can find anyone to be your partner as this form of autism often comes with a personality that can be seen to be overpowering, rude, agressive and argumentive.  Indeed, at school you may have found it difficult to focus or even been bored and as a result never got the education you needed to work on your own.  A lady in her 60s contacted me recently explaining the problems she encountered which are not that different from what I have written in this blog. The problem is we know that people with this form of high-functioning autism often have high intelligence and the ability to focus at depth to the oblivion of all else which makes them ideal workers - highly resourceful, productive and worth employing. It is the 'social part' of work; the getting on with others without been critical, working in a team etc that is difficult - and that other people do not understand. This form of high-functioning autism is not really a disability; it is a different ability that once we find a way of identifying it and using it in the workplace such people will become much 'wanted' employees for the work they can do. Until then; spread the work - autism is a different ability!

Police Respect?

It appears that only in the UK do Police receive any type of training in dealing with the public in a way that will engender respect for respect.  Mostly; particularly in the USA, citizen’s dealings with Police are aggressive and traumatic-and in some instances that includes the victim’s experiences.  Police often wax and wane about how no one respects them any more. I am not surprised. Recently, a reality TV showed some passengers at a Dakota (I think) airport. The passengers were trying to get the airline to fix mistakes that had left many people stranded, exhausted and just wanting to get home.  What I saw on the programme (and remember the producers would have used the most dramatic footage possible) was people been firm about the need for the airline problems to be solved so they could each continue their individual journeys.  I did not see anything that could be taken to be threatening or abusive behaviour towards staff. I should add that staff were standing their ground and refusing to offer assistance to the stranded passengers because of 'airline policy'. Staff called the Police for what was essentially a civil matter-the airline did not honour whatever contract was in place to transport the passengers in a timely fashion from one destination to another.  The Police arrived and were immediately aggressive and abusive towards the passengers-the crime of the passengers; they were standing at the counter in a non-threatening manner repeatedly asking for the counter staff to make the necessary arrangements. Police took no notice of what was going on and immediately assumed the passengers were people acting with the intent to physically harm the staff.  It started with the Police yelling abusively at the passengers - guess which State in the USA I am going to make sure I never travel to; if that is the way the Police treat people involved in a civil dispute I shudder to think what Police would do in a criminal matter.  The point is you get back what you give out. In Australia too many Police have watched too many Police shows and try desperately to act with great authority and importance - which does not create a communicative atmosphere to begin with.  I saw an Australian Police cadet show were a trainee was berated by the lecturers for been 'too pleasant' in a practical exercise which involved arresting someone.  Well, if you can get a person to respond to you without been aggressive and threatening is this not better for them and for you. Who wants to go to work every day and be expected to yell abuse in the name of professionalism? Police educators need to teach old fashioned civility; and then to go to aggressive authoritian behaviour if it is required.

Texas Judge Flogs Disabled Daughter-and gets away with it.

Anyone who has not yet seen the disturbing footage of a Texas family court judge flogging his 15 year old daughter for illegally downloading music off the Net should Google the footage.  The point I wish to make is that under current law in Texas and in many other countries (and States of the USA) many people consider this outright violence to be acceptable parenting.  Remember, not that long ago-in living memory for many older folk the following was legal;

• rape in marriage (outlawed, from memory, in the 1960s in Australia)
• hitting you wife to correct her errors (check your State's/countries legal history)

While earlier on; in what is really but the blink of an eye in time imoral we also;

• gave errant children to the elders to stone to death
• believed slavery was a right of the mighty (and there were slaves of all colours and creeds)

Texans should be outraged as a community and as a State; but they are not. Many believe that they have God given write to beat children like this and worse.  The girl said that she could not walk properly for days after. Her male parent can be seen flogging her with a large leather belt any where he can get access to; and her mother also joins in the flogging turning up with a second belt.

I have bet one comment to make on this disgraceful and cruel treatment of a young teenager - I absolutely guarantee that this 15 year old (now aged in her early 20s) has illegally downloaded material from the Net again after her parents violence and abuse. The flogging was about the parent's anger; not the child's development.  Looking at the pictures made me think that the judge would be better punching into a punching bag in the garage.  Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.         Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)  Now, Dad thinks his daughter has released the video of the attack to get back at him; well there's a surprise. Flogging a child or teen does not create a loving, supportive, encouraging environment-never think it does.

Vaccinations – Autism; A Little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Increasingly parents are refusing to vaccinate children making such decisions often based on the ‘advice’ of people who do not have a high-level, medical, scientific background. This group includes people with a background in everything from soft porn to stay-at-home parents who like to read a lot and building engineers with strong maths backgrounds.  Some years ago I trailed along behind a much lauded researcher into SIDS.  Spending this time with him I learnt that whenever a parent discovers that their child has a serious medical problem the natural, very human response is to try to find something or someone to blame.  The truth is, in SIDS, even if it is environmental issues that cause these tragic deaths it is something we do not know how to prevent at the moment.  Big difference between this and a parent who leaves a toddler unattended who then wanders off and drowns in a pool – too late then to say ‘but it was only a minute’, ‘it was an accident’ – no it was not an accident it was neglect!  Parents of children and teens with autism or Asperger’s do not have anything to explain to themselves or to anyone else.  When I began psychological studies a lecturer said ‘what we know about the brain is equivalent to a pin head on a pumpkin’.  This is something that parents and carers must never forget. We do not know what causes autism in any form.  However, we do know that many children die unnecessary from contracting diseases that are easily preventable.  Where I live we have serious problems with whopping cough; dear little babies dieing horrible deaths because someone somewhere did not want to get a vaccination.  Yes, vaccinations have some ingredients which may be highly toxic substances; but then if you ate things like ice cream not that long ago you might have been consuming rat poison and other ‘nasties’.  Do you know that some special margarine type spreads are one molecule away from been paint? Even the traffic fumes in your local area contain deadly toxins. Been for a plane trip lately; a short journey gives you a dose of radiation. Indeed just going out in the sunshine exposes you to radiation.  Is the toilet paper you use bleached, dose your child use bleached toothpaste, do you eat or drink food stuffs from packages – all have ‘toxic’ contents that we do not know what the long term damage to humans is likely to be – we only think we know.   The point is; anyone can read any scientific documents and journals and make what they will out of such information.  To understand this liken it to a person deciding to defend themselves for murder before a court – you can read all the textbooks, look up all the precedent law, and then write a wonderful defence. However, since you have never been in court, do not have legal training and do not have training in justice, court or trial proceedings you will be fighting a hard battle.  Please get your children vaccinated – if you do not and your child contracts something he or she may die; but before they die they may spread that illness.   Do you really want to be responsible for another child’s death?

Autism - A warning to parents and to high level sufferers deciding their own pathway

I caution parents and those who know they suffer any level of autism, from relying on what is termed ‘experts’.  Generally, experts study about autism through a university programme of learning.  I am not against university; having myself acquired both undergraduate and postgraduate studies.  It is like a person blind from birth trying to teach a sighted person how to paint, or someone deaf from birth trying to conduct an orchestra. If the experts had their way I would never have attended university, never have become one of the youngest radio announcers in the country – at a time when there were only five or six other women in similar positions.  

There is one question I like to ask when I hear about an ‘expert’ in autism.  Generally such speakers or authors are referred to as ‘world leader’, ‘leading expert’ or similar.  Parents and sufferers should ask this question – according to whom; their mom or the person who wrote the copy?

The greatest difficulty in autism at the moment; and I have both the business sagacity and training, the education and experience in teaching parents and the personal experience of high-functioning autism to comment, is the not-for-profit status.  Effectively people teaching and training in the area of autism know it is something that requires very little ‘evidence’ that you have been highly successful or achieved an outstanding or even minor result. This means that the industry is attractive to people who want to work one-on-one or in small groups; there is already some work done that suggests these people may not be the most suitable conduits of knowledge or training for either parents or sufferers at of any age or stage on the continuum of autism. Many people who ‘teach’ autistic children and or teens would simply not survive in the real world of face-to-face teaching; and yes I am sure if that raised your hackles you are one of the rare exceptions. Indeed, even psychological therapy is fraught with similar questions – after all the client rarely pays their own fees or gives strong opinion on who they are going.

Yes I have high functioning autism; and yes it gives me an insight that others do not have – into the world of the autistic experience.  One example is when I worked training the ‘almost’ unemployable for a badly run international organisation who supposedly were supporting autistic people but really wanted just to keep them in courses so they got continued government funding.  One young man about 24 years of age appeared next door to my office with his mother for an assessment for a place in my class.  The psychologist ‘an expert in autism’ and the mother were desperate to get him into my class. So; since I was not in class, and in my office next door, the psychologist asked if I would assess him as she could not decide.  Jason, was a tall, delightful young man whom I liked immediately-even if he did look at the lights, focus on the fans and stretch his fingers around in the air-all the usual characteristics of an autistic person.  The class required students to write; material similar to what they would in the work place.  To begin with I asked Jason to write a couple of paragraphs about home; even his special interest if he wanted to do so.  I gave examples of the work I wanted and discussed it with him.  This took a very long time and before I had finished chatting with him his mother was complaining that she did not have time to stay. The psychologist was saying that I had far more patience than she did – personally I think the reactions of the mother and the psychologist were exactly what had held Jason back. We who live in the autistic world do not have a neuros time frame – until we begin to work successfully in the world of work or participate fully in school.  Jason eventually wrote the paragraphs I wanted and the work was at a standard far beyond what his mother and the psychologist said he could produce.  Jason was not suitable for my class because he needed a lot of concentrated one-on-one work to give him the skills in focusing on a goal and achieving that goal.  This is something the parents could have taught from the day he was diagnosed, but the mother said it was just too much to do for so little result.  Be very careful whom you choose to assist you with your child’s or your own journey in autism.

A Warning To Police and Parents

Sadly, the Morcombs will soon have to bury the remains of their son who disappeared about eight (8) years ago.  The couple have very deftly managed the media getting publicity not normally due parents of a missing child or teen; and wanting to do this is only natural-that is keep everyone looking for your missing child. However, when an alleged offender for the crime of murder of their child was caught, the Morcombs changed.  Suddenly they were not as willing to speak to the media. When one reporter asked (perhaps without an understanding of the impact of the question) 'do you expect to find more remains'?. One parent mumbled disrespectfully under their breath - 'what a stupid question'. The point is once Police advise or encourage parents of missing children and/or teens to open the door so widely to the media; be very aware it can never be closed again. The door remains wide open for the rest of the lives of the family. The Morcombs have now told the media that people should be aware that reporters are talking about the remains of their son. Well, yes; but the Morcombs wanted the publicity and this has generated an at times annoying amount of publicity and focus on the case.  I heard several comments from people in the centre of the area where the publicity was focused along the lines of 'I'm Daniel Morcombed out'.  Again, open the door to the media and the door to your lives and it stays open.   The media cannot be managed or controlled.  The media in the Western world is not something that you turn on when it is useful and off when it is not.  The funeral is yet to come and the Morcombs must realize that this will start the publicity circus all over again. Is it healthy healing for them or their adult children? No, but the door cannot be closed!  After the funeral the Morcombs have said they want to continue to advance the cause of their foundation keeping Daniel's name alive.  Well; good. However, again, it requires the media to turn up when wanted and to go away and mind their own business when not wanted.  Police and others who work with parents and families of the missing and those who suffer in similar ways should be very, very, very careful before encouraging zealous use of the media; because lives will never be private again. 

Unwise Daniel Morcombe's Ambassador Role

Let me begin this blog by explaining that I was a witness in and a target of one of the most insidious child murderers in Australia. So, what I am going to write I offer from the point of view of experience with perverts and with an investigation of child murder. Additionally, at 15 years a pervert tried to get me into a car that did not have any door handles expect on the driver's door, and at 12 years walking with a friend up the stairs of a grandstand at the local show a father with his three children with him walked up the steps behind me and digitally assaulted me.  Please note I also hold postgraduate studies and undergraduate studies in education; and other areas. I offer this information to demonstrate that I have some basic knowledge of what I am about to blog.  Additionally, I also worked extensively in mainstream media at a senior level.

The Morcombe family needs prayers and love; and will do so for the rest or their lives.  This cannot be denied. However, it is psychologically unhealthy and inappropriate to continue this focus on 'Daniel'; both for the family, their friends, for the media and for the children and youths who have access to the constant reports and never ending focus on Daniel and his parents. Children been children, teens been teens this creates an undue morbid curiosity and imaging’s in young impressionable minds.  This is not the answer to teaching children or youths about personal safety.

Anna Bligh has seen the opportunity for some 'good' publicity.  This 'project' has not been thought through; the name Daniel needs to be removed from any association with money spent by the government or corporations from the good work that the Morcombes hope to eventually do. The Morcombe's need to step back and allow people trained and experienced in 'teaching' children and youths this type of content to take up the focus and to do so without focusing on Daniel.  There are many other children and teens who died at the hands of perverts in this country; these children deserve to be remembered, but the Queensland Government's Anna Bligh is only interested in supporting one case, one murder, one child. 

The impact of constantly hearing about Daniel and the Morcombes on parents who have lost children and were not, and are not offered, the same opportunity to repeatedly focus on their child in the media must be beyond what many of these people can bear. Every mention of Daniel will strike another knife into their hearts; particularly if their child is missing or the killer was never jailed.  Their grief is still as real as the Morcombe's; they just do not have the support to become media spokespeople. 

When the Morcombes speak to children and teens about what happened to their son their emotional focus will be wholly on what they have experienced - which is natural and must not be criticised in any way.  Teens and children are very perceptive and it is this 'emotional' aspect that the kids will find interesting.  They have already heard the story of what happened to Daniel time and time again from the media and more than likely from parents.  I know when I was a child every crime reported; and not nearly as often as this, it was discussed in the family and points made as to how not to get into that situation. 

What happened to Daniel is only one set of circumstances.  It is, sadly, not the only set of circumstances that children are unsafe in.  I was targeted by a murderous pervert in full view of my teachers on a number of occasions - I was aged between 51/2 and 10 years, and he did it repeatedly. The pervert even told a vendor at the school that I 'wanted him'; I was about 7 1/2 years old.  The pervert murderer was employed at the school for many years. 

Making child safety in the State of Queensland all about Daniel Morcombe is not appropriate for the Morcombe's to do, or for Anna Bligh to support.  Daniel was a 13 year old going on a bus trip to a nearby shopping centre.  He was doing what most 13 year old boys can be expected to do at that age.  What happened to him; the reasons and how he was caught in a web of perversion is vastly different from the toddler who was sexually assaulted and then thrown on the roof of a building, the Mackay Sisters murders, the disappearance of the girl on the bike in the canfields in North Queensland and sadly many others.  Telling children and youth just one story does not help.  I know from my personal experience with perverts that there are a host of other 'considerations' that the Morcombe's cannot teach and that focusing on Daniel will not teach. Considerations that unless you have experienced these people you are not aware exist.

The curriculum under development at the moment must NOT focus on Daniel and must take a host of considerations into account that frankly neither Police, Children’s Commissioner, practicing teachers and others on the intended committee have any knowledge of; unless they have experience.  The ‘emotion’ and publicity attached to the Morcombe’s is such that I do not think the people called to form this panel will be able to ignore and speak freely enough to focus on the task of creating a suitable curriculum.

Let Daniel Morcombe finally rest in peace.  Grieve for him in private; end the constant publicity and understandably grief felt response to want to keep his name 'alive'.  Cease the focus on one child and one murder.  There are many more similar stories than Daniels.

Blessings to the Morcombe’s and all the other parents who have lost children and teens in this way.

LONDON RIOTS-POLICE, PARENTS, POLITICIANS

Much can be learnt from the riots; but I suspect that the necessary and deserved legal processes will not include opportunity to research the causes of the ‘riot mentality’ or allow time for parents to be interviewed.  These riots demonstrate the lack of respect for self and for others endemic in much of the Western World younger age groups. Why?  What happened? How did this mentality occur?  Police and communities desperately need to quickly understand what happened and why.  It is not a time for academics to sit at their desks and ponder theory eventually producing papers to be totted around the media. This needs to be evaluated now; quickly. Parents must be held accountable and be legally required to give an explanation of why they lost control of their children and teenagers. Did they know where their children were and what they were doing? Of course, many of the parents of these teens and kids would not care and probably agreed with what they were doing. It is vital to determine the socio-economic background of the families; age groups, education levels, in work, long term unemployed, addiction, associated with low-level crime or mob mentality.  I doubt that anyone with the power to begin this quest to find out will read this blog.  However, others who agree know that it is not that hard to rapidly capture this information. We have all of the tools at our disposal; we just have to want to do it. Then and only then can laws be enacted to deal with future behaviour.  Those laws should include immediately banning hoodies, wearing bike helmets unless astride a bike, wearing ski masks off a skiing field and just the highly charged emotional issue of wearing the burka and similar garments. People’s faces must be visible when they are out in public; do what you like in your own home or own cultural buildings but each one of us has a responsibility to the community we walk about in-it protects everyone.

Just A Little Smack? and Baby Dies Due To Failure to Supervise

I was sitting watching a father of seven (7) children supervising his one year old who could only just walk in a doctor's waiting room. Firstly, he was a good Dad for acting on the idea that children need to be taught appropriate behaviour when they are out.  The lesson Dad was trying to teach was not to pull posters off the wall.  What Dad was doing was to slap the toddler's hands every time he tried to pull the poster off the wall.  He simply slapped the child's hands and said a stern 'no'.  It made me wonder if he trained dogs for a living.  the Dad did not attempt to remove the child or distract the baby in any way.  Children that young do not understand verbal instruction; until they do they need to be removed from what ever it is that is the danger or the item they should not be touching and distracted. 

On a sad note; another child has died (the second in the last few days).  This little boy found matches in the lounge room and made it to his bedroom where he shut the door and played with the matches striking each just the way he had seen the adults do.  The child could barely walk and was just a toddler.  Why, oh why, did smokers who know that their bad habit not only impacts upon the lungs of their children not have the common sense to keep the matches out of reach!  There is no excuse or reason for this death; it was not an accident.

Another Tween Dies Tragically Because Parents Fail To Use Common Sense

Yet again another child (5 years old) has drowned. This time in a dam that the parents knew was within walking distance for a child that age. The tragic loss of such a little fella only highlights AGAIN the need for parents to supervise small children at all times-there is never a reason to leave one or more young children unsupervised.  Small children rarely die in accidents; certainly those that involve water.  Yes, sometimes tragically a parent or adult can be in the water with a child and something will happen and a child will die.  However, when an unsupervised child wanders off and drowns-that is not an accident it is failure to adequately supervise a child.  Small children can NEVER be left with instructions not to go somewhere or do some action.  They are small children; they need to be under the continuous watchful eye of a parent or adult. Parents must never take a break from watching small children; when you do this death is an example of what happens.  It is very interesting to note that under the Westminster system if a child dies from inadequate parental or adult supervision the parent or adult who was suppose to be supervising is rarely held accountable when they state it was an accident.  However, in the work place if someone dies or is injured a CEO who may never have been to the workplace can be sent to jail.  (This happened in the country I live in whereupon parents failed to adequately supervise a five (5) year old who fell into a river and drowned). It is time for some legislators to re-exam the notion of parental liability (which under local laws is limited) and make parents responsible for not adequately supervising children. When other parents fail to adequately supervise their children it is EVERYONES RESPONSIBLITY.

Striking A Child In The Name Of Parenting

Children and teens phyiscally strike back at parents when they feel threatened and unsafe.  If you do not want your child to hit you; do not hit them.  Hitting a child generally means the older they get the harder you have to hit to get the same response.  Remember; many children will grow to be faster and stronger than you and if you leave the child no other way to communicate with you other than to hit you back you could be in serious physical danger - just like the child is when you hit.

us-teen-killed-parents-then-partied

http://au.news.yahoo.com/queensland/a/-/world/9871110/us-teen-killed-parents-then-partied/

It is NEVER acceptable to take the life of another person.  However, in some countries the law allows abused wives to do so with relatively little punishment.  In the country I live in we have not yet realised that children who are constantly hit and abused often become like abuse wives and seek out ways to revenge their abuse.  Yes, both wives and teens can also be mentally-ill and/or criminals.  I hope the events surrounding the intent and reason for the death of two adults citied in the story above draw the attention of researchers who determine what happened for these awful deaths to occur.  Abuse of children, and of wives, wears away year after year until some people simply break and react.  This alone is reason NEVER to hit a child or a teenager.

Kids Rights and Obligations

Every child or teen has the right NOT TO BE HIT at home by parents or care givers.  However, once you claim such a right, you have the obligation not to hit other kids or teens or anyone else for the rest of your life.  There is never any excuse or a reason to use physical violence (and smacking is low level violence) against a child.  Parents who resort to smacking or spanking do so because they do not possess other parenting skills.  Fortunately, many organisations of value both online and in local offices offer training and support for parens to learn parenting skills that abolish the need for them to smack or hit kids or teens in any other way.  The best organisations to seek advice from are Government organisations as these staff are not permitted to offer anything other than parenting advice and may not use religion or culture as an excuse to permit parents who hit to continue in their set ways.

Points to Ponder for Kids, Teenagers and Parents

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

The greatest danger for most of us is not that we aim is too high and miss it; rather, it is that we aim too low and reach it. Michelangelo (1475-1560)

Introducing Me-MORE IMPORTANTLY THE CONCEPT

Thank you for reading this.  The blog is the first focusing on the area of non-violent child raising. This means discipling children without spanking, hitting, smacking, whacking, belting or any other physical punishment.  Yes, children need guidance.  Yes, children need discipline; however, discipline is not mandatory physical assualt.  Children and teens recognise hitting for what it is - violence. Kids will respond out of fear; not because they have learnt anything from the person who hit them.  When you hit a child to 'discipline' or 'control' them you need to be very large and very fit because a time may come when the child snaps and hits you back.  Such action is not disrespect; it is merely a physical response to common assualt.